Putting the comfort back in comfort eating

When people come to my office and ask if I can help them with comfort eating, I tell them no.

I know this is counter-intuitive to what we are told in our culture and by medical professionals, but if you follow me you know that almost everything I write about goes against popular beliefs! So why would I encourage comfort eating when it’s long been demonized and viewed as a lack of will power?

Eating is a complex experience on both a physical and emotional level.

If you have ever had or taken care of an infant, you know that feeding is a time for nourishment, yes. But it’s also a time for bonding and building attachments with caregivers. The act of being fed exactly what is needed, exactly when it is needed, is a way the baby learns that the world is a safe place where their needs will be met. And babies who do not get their feeding needs met are often impacted both mentally and physically. So what does this teach us about the connection with humans and food?

Food holds so much more value to us beyond nutrition.

Eating is one of the most basic pleasures that we have as human beings. Food fills our bellies and our souls. Our amazing bodies even send us messages to crave certain foods when they are lacking. Hippocrates said “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”. He knew that food has healing powers. I wonder what he would think about the way his words have been twisted in diet culture to endorse “eat to live instead of live to eat”. I doubt that he would believe that cutting out entire food groups was healing.

The latest trend in demonizing food is focused on sugar.

And for those of you who believe that sugar is the devil, do you remember the ‘80s and ‘90s? In that era, fat was the devil and we ate sugar like it was going out of style. Diet fads are not fixed truths, they are popular ways for the diet industry to make money off the insecurities of the masses. So given the current diet trend, sugar cravings lead to feelings of weakness instead of honored and fed. Let thy food be medicine doesn’t mean ignore your body’s natural hunger cues. It is highlighting the important of our overall wellness, both physical and mental. It can feel distressing when our comfort foods are considered “bad” because of their sugar or fat content.

Eating driven by starvation, restriction, dissociation and chronic stress is different.

Binges are characterized by feeling out of control while eating. It can involve eating large quantities, eating to the point of painful fullness, eating in secret and'/or eating “off limits” food. Binge Eating Disorder (BED) was recently added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel (DSM) that mental health professionals use to diagnose mental illness. It is the largest of all the eating disorders and is often occurring in people with a history of trauma. Binge eating is not the same as comfort eating. Although many people have binged at some point in time, people with BED have a consistent pattern of bingeing, usually following cycles of dieting and restriction.

Comfort eating is one way to find comfort, and that’s ok.

Doesn’t hot soup on a cold day sound good? How about a Popsicle on a hot day? Why does turkey and stuffing feel so wonderful on Thanksgiving? It’s because all of these foods are not only providing physical satisfaction, they have good feelings associated with them. When you are coping with feeling stressed, sad or angry there are many ways to handle these emotions. Sometimes talking helps, other times exercising helps. And sometimes eating directly from the ice cream tub is EXACTLY what you need (there is a reason that people in a breakup always eat ice cream in the movies!)

Allowing yourself to comfort eat can prevent a binge.

Binges commonly occur after a period of restricting the amount or type of foods eaten. It’s the body’s way to deal with it’s perception of starvation. Incorporating ALL foods, for whatever reason, without food rules allows your body to feel safe in knowing that it’s needs will be met and it’s hunger cues won’t be ignored. Just like the baby that learns to trust through on demand feeding, your body learns to trust you to feed it when you honor it’s needs.

In a culture of restriction, give yourself permission.

When you fully accept that ALL foods are good foods, that all bodies are good bodies and that there is more to life than being thin, you no longer will see comfort eating as a problem. You will see it as a solution to a problem.