Why Can’t I Do the Thing?
I’m sitting at my desk staring at my computer screen, hands on my keyboard. I know I should just start typing and get my case notes done. It won’t take long, just a few minutes and then I can be sure that I don’t fall behind. Again.
I remind myself of all the times that I put off this most tedious of all tasks and ended up overwhelmed, trying to climb out of a hole 10, 20 or 30 notes deep.
But I just can’t.
My brain has abandoned me. My fingers have lost their strength. There are no words that could possibly get me to do the things I need to do to accomplish this task.
If you are Autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD, this is an all too familiar scene. I’m sure you have shared the same destructive self talk I hear in my own mind:
What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I do this?
Why am I like this?
I want you to know that you aren’t lazy and that there isn’t anything wrong with you. What you’re experiencing is executive dysfunction, task paralysis, and a nervous system that feels threatened by a seemingly simple chore.
This Isn’t About Willpower
Throughout our lifetimes, productivity is presented as a simple equation: Motivation + Willpower = Task Completion.
Therefore, if you don’t complete the task, you are unmotivated and weak or unwilling. This is how productivity shifts from outcome to moral failure.
The truer reality is that for neurodivergent minds, activation energy works differently. Task initiation requires complex cognitive coordination such as breaking down steps, sensory processing, emotional regulation, and working memory. When these skills are not accessible or overwhelmed, your brain hits a wall. Trying to white knuckle any of these executive function skills is like trying to speed up a car with no engine. It just isn’t possible,
Freezing as a Trauma Response
Executive dysfunction is deeply connected to your nervous system. Many neurodivergent people carry years of implicit trauma from living in environments that weren't built for their brains. When a task feels overwhelming, uncertain, or attached to high expectations, your body perceives it as a threat.
Let’s get back to me sitting at the computer feeling like I have not one functioning brain cell. Even though I logically know that typing up my notes is in no way dangerous, my brain perceives how overwhelming it feels as a threat. Instead of fight or flight, my brain freezes in response to this threat.
We have a name for this, Pathological Demand Avoidance or PDA. In essence, your nervous system slams on the emergency brakes to keep you safe from potential failure or sensory distress. What looks like procrastination on the outside is actually internal physiological immobility on the inside.
Add in Autistic or ADHD-related demand avoidance—where internal or external demands feel like a direct threat to your autonomy and suddenly even tasks you want to do feel physically impossible.
Finding Neurodivergent Affirming Strategies to Cope
Instead of forcing neurotypical hacks that leave you burnt out, here are trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming strategies meant to support the way your brain works:
Do Things Your Way, Not the Right Way: Who says laundry has to be folded? If keeping clothes in clean baskets prevents sensory overload and task initiation burnout, that is a fully valid, functional choice. The goal is accommodate yourself and your needs, not measure up to nebulous societal rules about housekeeping.
Take Small Steps: Don't clean the kitchen. Wipe down one counter. That’s it. Give your brain permission to stop after one action. Often, lowering the activation energy barrier helps trick the nervous system out of freeze.
Regulate Before You Initiate: Before tackling a daunting task, give your sensory system what it craves. Put on noise-canceling headphones, grab a weighted blanket, or listen to a high-dopamine soundtrack. A regulated nervous system initiates tasks much smoother than a stressed one.
Offer Yourself Unconditional Compassion: Shame is an energy drainer, not a motivator. Acknowledge that your brain is protecting you right now, and step away without guilt. Rest is necessary to provide us with the capacity to grow, not a reward for productivity.
Well, it’s time for me to reread this post so that I can figure out how to get my notes done. Good luck to us all on our quest to do boring things!