5 ACTUAL Ways to Improve Executive Functioning for Autistic and ADHD Brains

When you are struggling with executive functioning, life is just… hard. Executive functioning skills involve planning, organizing, managing time, and focusing. You know, basically everything you need to be able to work, manage a household and care for yourself. It can be frustrating to hear neurotypical people casually call themselves ADHD as an adjective when they are distracted or forgot something. Lack of executive functioning causes significant distress and consequences for those of us who are challenged in this area.

Part of the problem is that when we try to get help, we are often taught skills that just don’t work for us. We aren’t guided to learn more about how our brains work and find tools that complement our unique selves. We are given predetermined behaviors that work for most people so they should work for us.

The Years I Tried to Fit into a Box

Okay, picture this: me, for most of my life, trying to force myself into this perfectly shaped neurotypical box. I saw how everyone around me seemed to just... know how to be organized. They had their cute planners, their color-coded sticky notes, and they just got things done. And me? I felt like a human pinball machine, constantly bouncing from one task to another, never quite finishing anything.

I thought I was lazy. I thought I was broken. So, I tried harder. I bought all the planners. I tried every time management technique under the sun. I created elaborate schedules that looked great on paper but fell apart the second I actually had to follow them. And the result? Constant burnout, anxiety, and a feeling that I was failing at life. Putting myself down became the main motivator for success.

It was exhausting. And it wasn't until I started to understand my own brain through the lens of my diagnosis that I realized: I'm not broken. I just process the world differently.

The Turning Point: Embracing My Brain

So, I stopped trying to be someone I wasn't. I started to look foraccommodationsthat actually made sense for my brain. Not what worked for other people, but what worked for me.

And you know what? It changed everything. It wasn't about being perfectly organized (I'm still not). It was about finding ways to reduce the friction in my everyday life, so I could have enough mental energy to do the things I actually wanted to do.

What Real Accommodations Can Look Like

Here are some of the things that have worked for me, and that I've seen work for clients in my practice:

1. Externalize EVERYTHING

Our brains can be beautiful, chaotic places. But they're not always the best at remembering things in the moment. The key? Get it out of your head and onto something you can see.

• Sticky Notes EVERYWHERE: The neon-colored squares of joy. Use them for immediate tasks, reminders, and notes to self. Don't worry about them being pretty. Just write it down.

• A Command Center: This doesn't need to be fancy. A simple whiteboard, a calendar on the wall, and a place for keys/wallet can save you from a lot of morning stress.

• Digital Tools: If sticky notes aren't your thing, use your phone. Set reminders, use to-do list apps, use your calendar. The key is to pick one system and stick with it. Don't fall into the trap of using 50 different apps and then forgetting which one you used for what.

2. Embrace Body Doubling

For some of us, having another person in the room (even if they're not doing anything) can be incredibly grounding. It's called body doubling. It helps us to focus and stay on task.

• Find a Study/Work Buddy: This can be a friend, a partner, or even just a colleague. You can meet at a cafe, work in silence together, and take breaks.

• Virtual Body Doubling: There are even online communities and apps specifically for this!

3. Break it Down

Face your tasks with a sense of agency that will set you up for success. Our brains love feeling accomplished and even release Dopamine when we feel satisfied with the outcome.

• Break tasks down to smaller steps: Instead of setting out to clean the kitchen, start with putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Chances are that you will gain momentum and be able to move from task to task easier after the first.

• Choose the most appealing task: If you have a to do list, start with the item that sounds the most enjoyable (or the least boring).

4. Create a Sensory Sanctuary

Our environment can have a huge impact on our executive functioning. If we're overstimulated (by bright lights, loud noises, uncomfortable clothes), our brains have less energy to devote to focus and planning.

• Minimize Sensory Input: Noise-canceling headphones, soft lighting, comfortable clothes—they can all make a big difference.

• Schedule Sensory Breaks: Take short breaks throughout the day to decompress. Do some stretching, listen to calming music, or just sit in a dark room for a few minutes.

5. Give Yourself Permission to MOVE

Autistic and ADHD brains often need movement to focus. Fidgeting isn't a distraction; it's a tool!

• Fidget Toys: Keep them on your desk, in your pocket, anywhere.

• Doodle: Let your brain wander on paper while you're listening to something.

• Move Your Body: Take regular movement breaks. Pace around the room while you're on a call.

The Bottom Line: Be Kind to Your Brain

The single most important accommodation is self-compassion. Forgive yourself when you forget things. Don't beat yourself up when you can't focus. Your brain is doing its best in a world that isn't always built for it.

Let's stop trying to fit ourselves into boxes. Let's build our own boxes, with a little extra space for sticky notes and fidget toys.